Bullying

I loved the video we watched in class today about bullying. (sadly, I haven't been able to track it down on youtube, otherwise, I would post the link here.) I think it accurately reflected how alone people can feel when they are bullied. I could not stop myself from crying when the main character sat alone at lunch. For me, the video is a must-see for any class over the age of, say, nine, and not just because it raises awareness about bullying, as we discussed in class. I think that a video like the one we saw is especially powerful in that it is able to show a bully their own behaviour mirrored back at them, helping a bully to understand the consequences of their behaviour and empathize with the person they are hurting.

While it is important to help those who are bullied, we must also remember to deal with bullying at the source by helping bullies to see their behaviour as harmful. I found an alarming statistic on this website: http://www.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/45838.html. Apparently, 1 in 3 school children have been bullied recently. The problem only seems to get worse, however, 40%, or 2 in 5 adults at work are bullied weekly. This behaviour needs to stop (Canada).

When I worked as a summer camp counsellor, I discovered (to my great horror) that one of my campers was being bullied by everybody else in the cabin. Did anyone realize that camper A was struggling through camp (and probably life in general) because she often felt lonely and unpopular? Well, maybe everyone else did . . . at least enough to exploit Camper A's worst fears and make her alone and unpopular. Demoted to the end of the lunch table to sit with me (I didn't really count as a friend, I suspect. I was a counsellor. Besides, I was largely unpopular myself because of my strict enforcement of two heavily disliked rules, Lights Out and Make Your Bed), she responded sullenly to all my attempts at conversation.

Over the coming weeks, my fellow counsellors and I held talk circles, nail painting circles, friendship bracelet circles, courage circles, and every other sort of circle which could bring the campers together and include everyone. We addressed the issue of bullying with the group sometimes, and other times, we ignored it.

We didn't do what we should have done. I could say that my boss did not tell me the right thing, but the fact of the matter is that I was old enough to know better myself. I had no excuse. Rather than confront the bullies directly and make it clear that their behaviour was unacceptable, we talked to Camper A. In fact, we even tried to change her personality, to try to make her more palatable and friend-able to the other campers. We the counsellors were the worst bullies of all, because we should have known better and we were authority figures.

It took me a while to realize that I was at fault. A while enough that by the time I did realize, summer had been and gone and camper A had sat through it all, sullen and lonely. I had sat through it all, too, never getting to the root of the problem, never truly listening to Camper A's problems or addressing the underlying issues that created bullying in the first place.

I would like to see Camper A again so that I can apologize to her. I hope now I've learned my lesson about supporting people who are bullied and showing bullies that their behaviour is unacceptable and has to stop. It takes a little more courage, and it also takes a little more critical thinking to step back from a situation to determine how best to solve it.

Of all the readings for this week, I was especially interested in this one:
http://educ.queensu.ca/alumni/letter/issues/QueensEducationLetterFallWinter07.pdf, the Education letter from Queen's University for 2007. I always forget about cyber bullying, which didn't really seem to be a problem when I was in high school. (Or perhaps my internet literacy was so poor that I just didn't pick up on it!) Cyber bullying is a distressing development in cycles of bullying, because it is harder to detect that schoolyard face-to-face bullying or even exclusion. The letter raised an important point: it is vital to educate students on what can happen with cyber bullying and how to prevent it (Smith, 10). Students may sometimes not even realize the harm they are perpetrating because cyber bullying removes them from the person they are bullying and may not expose them to the pain they could cause. Students need to be aware that things they say (or do) on the internet do still reach and affect others.

Works Cited:
Canada. "Canadian Bullying Statistics."Canadian Institutes of Health Research. Canadian Institutes of Health Research, 28 Sep. 2012. Web. 4 March 2013.

Smith, J. David. "School Climate and Bonding: Pathways to Resolving Bullying." Education Letter. Queen's Faculty of Education and the Queen's Education Alumni Committee, Fall/Winter 2007. Web. 4 March 2013.